Super Special

As I was teaching art today with my littles class, we were talking about Georgia O'Keefe. I was explaining how Georgia had a lot of people try to change her passion or change her technique as a painter, but she found ways to continue what she loved.

The kids took that conversation and ran with it. "She has a special technique because God made her that way!" "She has a unique style because she's super special!" "She shouldn't be ashamed of the talents God gave her!"

The heart of these kids! They had no idea that Georgia O'Keefe has since passed, and they especially don't know her personally. But they still wanted her to know how special she was and they were FIRED. UP.

We're raising the next generation to replace us. Let's make sure they have the heart to love each person unconditionally, and to spread that love any way they can.

I could learn a thing or two from these kids today. 

Be Still

I'm sure you all have noticed that I have been gone a while. A long while. And trust me, that was not intended. I had regrettably allowed my life to become overloaded and when I realized I hadn't posted in several months I struggled getting back on. "What would I say?" "How would I word it?" "Should I lay it all out for the readers? No! That's too vulnerable." And so many more thoughts would race in and out of my head. I struggle with letting people know when I have a problem. I hate to sound like a Debbie Downer. That's not fair to anyone. We all have our own problems, why should I whine about

mine?

As it turns out, God was teaching me to be more vulnerable; with Him. I had allowed myself to become so busy that not only did I forget to blog and write, I had also allowed myself to become too busy to spend time in the Word and with Him. And many areas of my life paid dearly for it.

In May, I decided to take the leap and try to be an independent consultant for It Works! Fully knowing I am NOT a sales person in any way. But I truly felt like God was leading me there. So I took the leap. I gave it 3 months, and had to come to the realization that I had caused nothing but stress in my life and my friendships. I still feel that God had lead me to try it, but the lesson He was teaching me was not what I expected.

My husband and I work a lot with our youth group at church, particularly with the middle schoolers. We had faced so many encounters and growing points for both ends during those three months that I seriously began to feel drained. So many things would pop up that left us asking "Did God really want US to help with junior high?" So many times we felt unqualified to help them. It hurt. To want to help kids and feel like your hands were tied at the same time. It was frustrating. But we learned later He was teaching us something that we wouldn't have been able to learn any other way. (Yes, another lesson)

Right about the time I decided to leave It Works (August), my husband unexpectedly lost his job. I was heart broken, I was hurt, I was angry. This wouldn't have been the first time that happened, and I had that same old familiar fear that I was supposed to do everything. That my entire world just fell onto my shoulders and it was up to me to carry our tiny little family through. And it was at this time I realized I hadn't blogged in three months. I hadn't spent any time in the Word, and I definitely hadn't spent time with my Heavenly Father. Then the feelings of failure stepped in, along with worry, and doubt, and fear. Why hadn't I turned to God? Why didn't I let Him lead me through all the struggles?

Now, my marriage was on the rocks. I felt unqualified to teach students, and I was the sole financial support for my home. What on earth was I thinking?! But He softly reminded me that its never too late. He's always there, always eager to hear. I just simply had to turn to Him. I went to my husband, broken, and apologized profusely for everything that happened, and how I acted. Those 3 months were a nightmare, and we had the ability to keep it from going that far. We agreed we needed to make some changes. We began marriage mentoring, reading the Bible again, praying a lot more and together more.

We were going through the book of Job with our Sunday School class, and it had clicked one late night when I was sitting in my living room, laying it all out to God. Job had lost EVERYTHING. His kids, his crops and livestock (essentially, his job) and his wife kept urging him to curse God (I'm sure that didn't help him in any way). But he remained faithful, he admitted he was angry, and couldn't figure out what he did to deserve it, and still remained faithful. And in the end God blessed him more than he could have imagined. As I was praying I realized, we felt a lot like Job. Eric lost his job, we were struggling to make rent and buy groceries, and don't even get me started on gas prices those few weeks. We needed to remain faithful. (Yes, I woke Eric up to tell him these revelations.) He and I prayed so fervently the next few days. He went on a few interviews and was bugging everybody to follow up with the process, and still kept sending out applications.

The First day in September, when I was driving into work, I was praying and worshiping, and I felt God tell me to "Be still." I thought about it all day. Be still. So I threw my hands up, and said "Ok! I trust you." That same morning, Eric felt God tell him to stop sending out applications. And by that afternoon, we got a call. He had a job! We knew it was a good job, with great health benefits, and financial security. Little did we know, God was blessing us abundantly. He has been at this job over a month now, and we couldn't feel more blessed. We've been able to tithe and restart our mission faith promises. We've been able to pay rent, and buy groceries! And in a few months, we'll have health insurance and begin our annual visits to dentists, and eye exams and such.

Be still. So simple, and yet so powerful. When I felt like my life was turned upside down, it was like a tornado. I was just constantly going, and running, and trying to keep everything in tact, when all I had to do was "Be still." Now, our marriage is stronger, our quiet times are constant, we still LOVE working with the youth, and when struggles come, they don't seem so catastrophic.

 

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

 

 

 

Love All the Colors!

Funny thing happened while I was teaching last week. We were talking about the Les Fauves technique and his use for colors. I had explained to one of my students "While painting your self portrait we can't use the normal colors. We need to use fun colors." My point was that he never used anything realistic, he focused on the more colorful aspect. When I said that, one of my students piped in and said "Are you saying not all colors are fun? That's a little rude, don't you think, stereo typing the colors and all?"

How could you not laugh at that? Such a funny thought coming out of young minds. But it reminded me how quick we are to judge, literally, everything around us. I know I try so carefully not to judge those around me, but I was shown today how I am capable of judging without even realizing it. Thankfully, I was only judging something small such as colors from a pallet in art class. But how often have I unknowingly judged people? The last thing I want to do is judge people. That's not my job or my place.

I'm so thankful for subtle life lessons provided for us. What a fun way for God to teach us through the laughable moments in our daily interactions. We just have to be open to hearing what He has to teach us. And the small lesson I learned while teaching art class today, love all the colors of the pallet, equally!

Deny Yourself

What does it mean to you to give up everything to be a follower of Christ? Would you? Give up absolutely everything you've ever known, to follow our one true king? What about the little things people don't think about when they are doing a spiritual spring cleaning? The memories of a hurtful past. A reputation. A way of living.

These past couple weeks one of my small groups has been working through the Radical study by David Platt. He really got my attention the first week when he explained that we have to deny ourselves completely to make room for Christ in our life. I loved that and prayed that God would fill me as I deny myself for Him. But this week alone, I've seen a whole new way of looking at denying myself. Its hard to truly deny yourself for Christ when you get down to it. Looking at yourself in a deeper more vulnerable way and deciding if you would actually give that part up in order to follow Christ.

You might be someone who has to change their view on living. Maybe you're someone who was abused as a child. Whether it be physical, verbal, or emotional. Maybe you've grown so accustomed to building up a wall around yourself that you don't even notice when you're shutting others out. Or worse you've started hurting the ones who love you most because someone else hurt you. Maybe you're the first Christian in your family, and its hard for you to wrap your mind around the life Jesus wants for you because all you've ever known was heartache and pain. Jesus wants to give you life, happiness, love. He wants you to experience everything He has to offer. But you might need to let go of your past to follow Him. You have to "deny yourself". Let go of the "this is all I've ever known" mentality to embrace a new way to look at life. A brighter way of life, God's way.

Maybe you're someone who grew up in a Christ-filled home. You went to church and Sunday School every week, maybe even the midweek services/programs. You read the Bible at home, your parents taught you how to look up passages if you weren't sure. And now that you're older, you might see a friend, spouse or loved one struggling and you want to show them in the Bible where it can guide them through the struggles or "throw the book at them". But you know that would be rude, because only God can reveal that to them. He might be able to use you to show them, but only in His timing. You have to "deny yourself". Let go of that "know it all" "I can help" thought process and just let God do the hard work. Focus on how you can grow closer to God, and He'll ease the stress on both ends.

Denying yourself can lead you down some very vulnerable roads. You might have to admit that you've been putting up a wall to shut others out, or you might have to let go of the controls and let God take the lead. Nobody likes to admit when they've been wrong. Its not fun.

I encourage you today, to look at your life to find a way to "deny yourself" as a way to follow Christ. Even when the pain seems unbearable. Having a support system at home is a great feeling, but letting Christ be the center of your life and letting Him take away your pain and struggles is a greater feeling.

Be a Party Animal

Quiet time. What is quiet time to you? Do you read your Bible? Do you play worship music? Do you have your own little praise and worship party on your own? Do you have a prayer closet? When I first started being diligent in my quiet times they were just that. Quiet. As I grow closer to God my "quiet times" are becoming less and less quiet. Don't get me wrong, sometimes its good for us to just be still, and listen to His voice. (Psalm 46:10) But we are also to make a joyful noise to the Lord. (Psalm 98:4; Psalm 100:1-2) I prefer to read my Bible in the morning with my coffee and do my reading plan through the Bible app. It gets my day started off on the right foot, and everything just falls into place. And yes, every now and then, I'll put on one of my favorite CDs and just worship the Lord right there in my living room.

A few weeks ago I was going through the reading plan by Dave Adamson, Chasing the Light. On the last day he talked about "quiet times." He asked us what we thought Jesus' quiet times looked like. What would His "quiet times" look like?? Mr. Adamson further mentioned that he asked a friend who was a Jewish Rabbi what he thought. The friend explained the traditional Jewish daily devotions for many centuries has been anything but quiet. They would do public readings of Scripture, singing praise and worship, and praying loudly while walking and moving continually. It's anything but quiet.
https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/3353-chasing-the-light/day/5 (Great read, you should check it out sometime.)

Scarcely does the Bible mention Jesus' quiet times. Because He was ALWAYS talking to God. He took any chance He could to pray, focus on and exalt the Lord. His widest method of teaching, however, was by example. (Luke 11:1) The disciples wanted to so badly to become like Jesus, so they would ask Him to explain the "correct" way of praying, living, worshiping, anything. We also have to remember that God was with Him, and in Him. (John 1:1) While He did have some private time set aside to be alone with God, He also wanted to show us what it was like to be one with God. Just think, if Jesus (who was one with God) needed some time to be alone and grow closer to God, how much more do we need to set some time aside to just be alone with the Lord.

We can also learn from the other lessons Jesus taught us. We are a living example of God's love here on earth. After our quiet times alone with God, we then need to take that love and share it with everybody. Jesus never kept God to Himself, He shared Him with everybody. And not just other believers either, He went to the sinners, the beggars, the prostitutes. Jesus wanted to save them more than anything. As my pastor mentioned a few weeks ago in church, "Jesus was a party animal." He never turned anybody away, or avoided anyone. He welcomed everyone to His presence. As He was walking around, praising God with His life, He welcomed everyone to join Him.

Maybe you need to take the next step in your "quiet times." Maybe you need to get a little louder and pop in a worship CD or turn on Pandora and start a worship party of one right in your living room, or get your family involved. Or maybe you've got the home thing down, now you need to live it out loud and take it to the public. Be like Jesus, be a party animal, and welcome everyone into the splendor of the Lord.

Soft Reminders

Such a sweet reminder today that even if we don't understand it, or if it doesn't add up in our heads, that doesn't mean God isn't working. For the past few months my husband and I have been feeling God work in our hearts to do more with our junior high youth kids. We wanted to create a safe place for them to hang out and just be kids. Not expecting anything of them, or pressuring them to grow up. Just be yourself; be a kid. We have been house hunting for this very reason and the doors have not been opening. I have been trusting that God is in this journey with us and there is a reason He's keeping the doors closed. But its still hard.

I've also been feeling, personally, that I'm not giving enough of myself. If only I had more space. If only I had more time. If only I had more money. All these struggles have been distracting me and tearing me down. I have honestly felt defeated. How are we supposed to grow and do good works for God if we don't have anything to give? That's when His soft voice gently asked me "Are you giving of your"stuff" or of your"self"?

Am I? Am I too focused on giving of my"stuff" and forgetting to give of my"self"?

Today we have a friend staying with us for the night. Not a usual for us. And for once I don't feel like I have to entertain. I have let the guys run the TV this afternoon and I cleaned house and cooked dinner. As I was washing up the dishes after dinner I heard that sweet voice again, "This is giving of yourself. Giving up your routine, your time, your space. Cooking food and making sure there is something available for your guest's comfort. He didn't come over tonight asking for money. He didn't come asking for a weeks worth of groceries. He wanted a safe place to sleep and someone he connects with to have fun and hang out with."

This is what it looks like to give of your"self". We are just hanging out, having fun. The guys are playing video games, having a blast, and I am getting caught up on my reading. (I'm extremely behind.) It didn't cost us anything, we didn't have to give him any "stuff", we're just spending time with him and blessing him with God's love.

How wonderful it is to be reminded of God's love through the little things. Just spending time with someone is equally a blessing as a financial blessing. I'm so honored that God chose us to go through this crazy journey and lesson. I'm looking forward to many more mind blowing break throughs of God's divine love and wonderful life lessons.

The Little Blessings

What a wonderful day! I'll back up for a bit (sort of a precursor to today), and explain what I've been thinking about off and on since we moved to central Ohio. Two years ago, when my husband and I turned our lives upside down and started following God, I prayed that God would start showing me that he hasn't left us. When I was little I remember seeing and hearing about radical experiences. When an elderly woman was struggling financially she would find a check in her mail for the exact amount she needed. When people at church became filled in the holy spirit, they would fall back. As I grew older I saw, and heard, fewer and fewer of these occurrences. I started to worry that the obvious evidence of God was at its end. So I prayed that he would show me that its not over. That was two years ago.

These past few months He has been proving to me over and over that He is still moving in obvious ways, and changing lives every day. Every couple weeks I see someone in our church filled with the Holy Spirit, not just with the evidence of speaking in tongues, but also falling to the ground. Two weeks ago, my dad received an unexpected vehicle repair bill, he prayed that God would provide and come through, and that night they received a gift of the exact amount of the repair bill. I was filled with joy, not just for my parents, but for the sweet reminder of how incredible my God is. And how He never stops proving His love for us.

These were all wonderful reminders for me; then I took it a step further. I prayed that God would move in my personal life. I know I'm not in any place to be demanding of God but my past few weeks have been crazy busy. And my husband has been battling with himself that everything he teaches our students just doesn't get through. Both situations has left me physically and emotionally drained. God waited till my lowest point this week to bring light into my life.

Today, I had to run a quick errand. Last I was in the car I was at an eighth of a tank and the gas light had just come on. Our plan was for me to get gas on my way to work tomorrow. But I had to run this errand and decided to risk it. When I turned the car on the gas meter read a quarter of a tank of gas. I ran to the store, got the few things I needed, and decided I should probably take this chance to go to the gas station. I pulled in just as the light came on (again). I thought to myself I'll only put $15 in and the rest tomorrow. I just need enough for today. I put that $15 in and it filled my tank to past three quarters!! The last thing I expected!! I was figuring just under half a tank at best. While I drove the car this past week, the tank just kept on going so I figured it would cost a lot to fill it up. What a serious blessing!! My heart was so overjoyed!

I know it doesn't seem like much, and there's a lot of realists out there who would try to prove that it wasn't God, or anything spiritual, but I know it was God. He gave me one more reason to thank Him today. One more reason to give Him glory and praise Him. And that's enough for me. I sincerely hope you all find something wonderful to thank Him for today. Even in the midst of a rough day, there's always a reason to be thankful and joyful.